Agency Business Development Networking for Introverts

Running an agency means wearing many hats. You’re responsible for delivering results for clients, managing operations, and, perhaps most importantly, bringing in new business.

But if you’re an introvert like me, the idea of networking—the cornerstone of business development—can feel unnatural and exhausting. Traditional networking methods seem built for extroverts, favoring high-energy socializing, rapid introductions, and surface-level conversations. That’s never felt right to me, and I’ve struggled with it my entire career.

Over time, I realized that forcing myself into extroverted networking styles wasn’t the answer. Instead, I developed strategies that work for us introverts—approaches that allow us to network in a way that feels natural, sustainable, and even enjoyable. The good news? You don’t have to change who you are to be successful at networking. You just need a strategy that prioritizes quality over quantity, preparation over spontaneity, and meaningful connections over forced small talk.

So today I’m going to share what I’ve learned, so you can build a networking approach that fits who you are—one that helps grow your agency without draining you in the process.

Understanding Introversion and Its Role in Networking

Before diving into networking strategies, it’s important to clarify what being an introvert actually means. Too often, people mistakenly equate introversion with shyness or social awkwardness. In reality, introversion is not about a fear of social interactions—it’s about how we process and regain energy.

Introverts tend to recharge through solitude and introspection, while extroverts gain energy from social engagement. This distinction is key to understanding why traditional networking approaches, which often favor high-energy interactions, don’t always work for us introverts.

A common misconception I encounter is that because I speak on stages as a keynote speaker, present ideas confidently in front of clients, and can hold engaging conversations, I must be an extrovert. But in reality, I am very much an introvert. That’s why if you ever go looking for me after I deliver a keynote or breakout session at a conference, you won’t find me.

As soon as I’m off stage, I have about 15 minutes of energy left before the inevitable crash. Hence, I retreat to the solitude of my room, make a nice bourbon, and hit the reset button for the next 30 minutes or so. Then I head back down to the conference, recharged and ready to engage in high-quality networking.

Inventing an Introvert-Friendly Networking Approach

For us introverts, traditional networking advice often falls flat. Most of it is designed for extroverts, promoting high-energy tactics like “work the room,” “attend every event possible,” and “introduce yourself to as many people as you can.” And we’ve all seen “those” networkers—the ones who breeze through a room, shaking hands, tossing business cards like confetti, and moving on before a real connection is even possible.

That kind of high-volume, high-energy approach doesn’t work for introverts. In fact, it often backfires, leaving us drained and disengaged. Instead of trying to mimic an extrovert’s style, we have to invent our own networking playbook—one that capitalizes on our strengths while minimizing the friction that traditional networking creates for us.

This means leveraging our ability to listen deeply, engage in meaningful conversations, and create relationships that have substance. Instead of focusing on collecting as many contacts as possible, we focus on building fewer but stronger connections. And instead of pushing ourselves into environments that feel unnatural, we learn to shape networking opportunities around what works best for us. Here’s a handful of thought starters to get you started. 

Propinquity-Based Selection

Rather than attending every networking event available, focus on the Propinquity Point events where your best prospects naturally congregate. This ensures that the effort you expend on networking is targeted and effective. High-value relationships come from repeated exposure, so prioritize events, communities, and groups where meaningful business relationships are most likely to develop organically over time. In other words, it’s ok to see the same people at multiple networking events. 

Social Reconnaissance as Preparation

Walking into a room full of strangers is draining, but walking in with a clear plan changes everything. Before any event, use social reconnaissance to research attendees, identify key prospects, and understand their interests. Platforms like LinkedIn, Instagram (if their profile is public), and event attendee lists allow you to gather insights into potential connections. The goal isn’t just to prepare small talk but to craft meaningful conversational catalysts that help you start, engage in, and somewhat guide or direct interesting conversations the other person will actually enjoy, remember, and welcome again in the future.

Conversational Catalysts for Deeper Connections

Surface-level business chatter is forgettable, and introverts tend to hate it. Instead of asking generic questions like “So, what do you do?” use the conversational catalysts you discovered in your social recon that encourage deeper, more personal discussions. If your social recon revealed a love of baseball, find a way to start or guide the discussion to baseball, or at least sports. Do they have kids? Ask if they have kids and then when they confirm they do, start asking about those kids. I’ve never met a parent that doesn’t welcome the opportunity to brag a little on their kids. 

Use Socratic Networking Techniques

Sometimes you’ll attend an event where you can’t recon attendees prior because you don’t know who they are or there isn’t time. Other times you’re at a social event where you’re intent isn’t to network, but high quality connections are created none-the-less. 

When you find yourself meeting a total stranger, use a Socratic approach to transform yourself into a masterful conversationalist AND learn a ton about the person you’re talking to right now. 

Start with an evergreen question. My personal favorite is, “Where are you from?” Everybody is from somewhere and they have an attachment (good or bad) to that place. Moreover, where someone is “from” today, meaning where they currently live, is very often not where they’re from originally (where they were born). So, even if they reply with a location and no additional information, you have a simple follow up question, “Where you born there or just live there now?” So, instead of the conversation potentially dying an awkward death, you push it forward one more step. 

Keep responding to every answer with another probing question and before you know it, you’ll know a lot about the person and likely find some common ground that you can use to build a connection between you. 

Create Your Own Conversational Catalysts

For me, that usually is my socks. I know what you’re thinking… how can socks be a catalyst for a conversation? Stick with me here… I asked my wife to marry me on the anniversary of our first date. Ever since, I’ve always celebrated that date by giving her something—flowers, dinner, or something to commemorate the date. 

One year she gave me a pair of bright red socks with big white hearts. Inside each heart was the date 9-21-94—the anniversary of our first date and the date I popped the question. 

I missed the whole crazy sock craze, but my wife had given them to me so of course I wore them. And the more I wore them, the more I found people would inevitably ask me about the date on the socks. This gives me permission to share my story, be a little vulnerable, and they usually reciprocate with some kind of story of their own. 

Now I have a growing library of date socks—my kids’ wedding dates, my granddaughter’s birthdate, my kids’ birthdays, my anniversaries, etc. And if I’m at any kind of networking event, you can pretty much guarantee I have those socks on, and before the event is over, someone is gonna ask me the question: “What’s the significance of the date on your socks?” 

Mission accomplished. 😊

Thought Leadership as a Networking Magnet

If the idea of walking up to a stranger and introducing yourself makes you cringe, you’re not alone. Personally, I suck at it. I’m usually the guy in the corner of the room with sooooo much email to go through. 😂

That’s why the best networking tool for introverts isn’t aggressive outreach—it’s a strong reputation. 

Creating content—whether blog posts, LinkedIn articles, or podcast appearances—allows your expertise to precede you. When people recognize your name from content they’ve read or watched, they’ll approach you instead of the other way around. This makes networking feel effortless and ensures that conversations start with genuine interest rather than awkward small talk. This is one of the main reasons I constantly write, speak, and accept interview requests. 

By shifting your mindset from “networking means being outgoing” to “networking means building meaningful connections,” you can develop an agency business development strategy that feels natural and works over the long haul.

Networking…the Introvert’s Way

As an introverted agency owner, networking doesn’t have to feel forced or exhausting. By focusing on propinquity-based event selection, social reconnaissance, conversational catalysts, and thought leadership as a magnet, you can build a robust network that supports your agency’s growth—without burning yourself out.

Instead of trying to be the most outgoing person in the room, play to your strengths: deep listening, thoughtful insights, and meaningful connections. By approaching networking in a way that aligns with your personality, you’ll create lasting professional relationships that drive business growth—without feeling like you’re pretending to be someone you’re not.

At the end of the day, networking doesn’t have to be loud. Sometimes, the quietest voices make the biggest impact.